High Heels, Hose and Coffee

It seems lately I am only posting once a week. I also seem to have a tooth brush on my bathroom sink that is not mine, it is next to mine though. I suppose this is the indicator that I am in a relationship. Yes, a tooth brush, some thing we all have, a thing we use a few times a day can have so much meaning. What carries even more meaning is smile on my face and the fact that it seems to stay there.
New relationships are wonderful and this one more so than others in my past because it seems we just fit so well together. Not just physically, but our personalities just seem to meld together, just as our bodies do. I find that we each seem to know what the other is thinking and feeling and pleasing each other is important to both of us. Some times it is small things that mean so much. The beautiful dress, hose, and heels worn not for a huge event but just to look nice for ones partner. It’s coffee in bed on a Saturday morning it’s having that connection with some one; deep conversations and laughter at funny moments. I suppose that most of us have showered with a new lover before, but it’s the first time I ever had to say as she stepped under the water “aren’t you taking your bra off?” Yes; we laugh together a lot. It’s the small things that make life so wonderful.

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When Is it Enough?

I find my self this week far deeper into the rabbit hole of life’s complications that I spoke of last week. In many ways I think my thoughts of last week only foreshadowed what this week would come to be. It seems as though, for my self, I choose more often than not, the steeper mountains to climb. Much like Danali, I never seem able to choose the easy path. I choose the one where the wind blows the hardest, the cold is colder than anything you ever felt and every moment you are there at sixteen thousand you are slowly watching your life ebb away. When you choose to love and care about people who are also climbing their own personal Danali’s, you simply must accept that it’s a hard climb. One must simply sharpen the blade of one’s ice axe, check crampons again and again, coil your rope, tie in,set your aids well, and use every bit of every thing you ever learned before, if you hope to reach the summit. It can be a hard climb. One must also have faith in your belay partner and know for certain that if you fall they have you.
This week I am on belay trying to make sure some one I do care deeply for does not free fall but is stopped short and is able to again climb her mountain.
I suppose as I left the daily use of substance behind last April, I find my self the guide on this steep mountain they call addiction. I hope I am up for the challenge and that I can show them the route to the summit. I have the belay but each but each step of the climb is thier’s and not mine. I have done it and think if I can so can any one.
Keep climbing Darling: as Tom used to scream at me “find a hold and get your ass up that rock”